How to raise a confident child

Confidence isn’t something children are born with—it’s something they build, step by step, with the help of loving, supportive adults. As a pediatrician and mom of 3, I’ve seen firsthand how a child’s self-esteem can shape their health, relationships, and resilience. The good news? There’s so much we can do to nurture it.

1. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Achievement

When your child tries something new—whether it’s tying their shoes or reading aloud—praise the effort, not just the outcome. Saying “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that puzzle” teaches them that persistence matters more than perfection.

2. Let Them Make Choices

Confidence grows when children feel they have some control. Offer age-appropriate choices: “Would you like the red shirt or the blue one?” or “Do you want to brush your teeth before or after your bath?” These small decisions help them feel capable and respected.

3. Encourage Problem-Solving

It’s tempting to jump in and fix things, but stepping back can be powerful. If your child is frustrated with a toy or a sibling, guide them with questions like, “What do you think we could try next?” This builds confidence in their ability to handle challenges.

4. Model Confidence and Self-Kindness

Children are always watching. When you make a mistake, show them how to handle it with grace: “Oops, I forgot the grocery list. That’s okay—I’ll make a new one.” Modeling self-compassion teaches them that mistakes are part of learning.

5. Create a Safe, Loving Environment

Children thrive when they know they’re loved unconditionally. Regular hugs, eye contact, and simply being present go a long way. A secure attachment gives them the courage to explore the world.

6. Encourage Interests and Passions

Whether it’s dinosaurs, drawing, or dancing, support your child’s interests. Enroll them in classes, visit the library, or just spend time doing what they love. Mastery in one area often spills over into confidence in others.

7. Teach Them to Speak Up

Help your child practice expressing their needs and feelings respectfully. Role-playing can be a fun way to build these skills. For example, “What could you say if someone takes your toy?” This empowers them to advocate for themselves.

Trusted Resources:

• Mayo Clinic: Practical ways to raise confident kids

• Zero to Three: Developing Self-Confidence From 24–36 Months